Jan 10, 2008

RAD

There are some days I am so touched by the people I meet through my job (school psychologist). Yesterday was one of those days. I met the sweetest couple who, 5 years ago, adopted a 2 year old Ukrainian boy. He was recently diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, stemming from living in a neglectful orphanage in the Ukraine before he was adopted. I sat and listened to these parents talk about their struggles with this little boy - his dishonesty, his lack of empathy and conscience, the power struggles they have with him, the conflicts they have encountered with family members because of his difficulties, etc. Surprisingly, this little boy is not a behavior problem at school - something about the competitive nature of the school setting and his desire to fit in keep him motivated at school. But, the parents said they dread going home each night because of what they know is in store for them. While they are certainly thankful they do not have to deal with school behavior problems, how hard it must have been to hear that he defies the people who love him most, yet is a good boy at school. It was obvious in talking to these parents that they are Christian people who love this little boy and are doing everything they can to work with him. His mother even drives two hours (one way) every week to take him to counseling in a different town because that is the only therapist they have found certified to deal with RAD. When I left the meeting and got in my car, I just felt compelled to pray for this family. How thankful I am for my own child and the couples who are willing to open their homes to children who need parents to love them. The guidance counselor even asked the mother one time in the past if they ever thought about sending him back. Her response was to smile and say, "No. I can't give up on him."

3 comments:

w's mommy said...

Praying that GOD will heal his heart towards his parents and one day he will see the love of the FATHER through their open hearts and home they have made for him!

Alison said...

This made me cry. I can't imagine how hard this must be for those parents. God bless them for opening their hearts and home to him and for being so patient and diligent in helping him through this transition. I pray that God will mend their family and that they will fully rely on him for their strength. We will definitely add this family to our prayer list.

Erin said...

As an adoptive parent, I know several families who have had to deal with RAD. It is a difficult thing for a family to endure. He is probably well behaved at school because RAD children are manipulative and come across as "sweethearts" and "people pleasers". I will be praying for this little guy and his family.