I forgot how hard it is to have a baby.
I don't think I have to reassure any of you of how much I love her, because oh my goodness, do I love her.
But, man, is it hard sometimes.
It's hard when she's cried the better part of two days, and you have no clue why.
It's hard when she poops through her diaper and onto her clothes and no one is home to help you keep her feet out of it while you try to wipe it off your hands.
It's hard when you're walking around in a fog because you've gotten maybe four hours of sleep the night before (although, I probably shouldn't complain, because I actually slept in my own bed those four hours and not on the couch holding a baby. We are making progress in that department, slow though it may be.)
It's hard when your baby wants to be held. All. the. time.
It's hard when she won't really nap anywhere except in your arms.
It's hard when you have a panic attack over the fact that you have to go back to work in two months, and the thought hits you that you'll have to navigate your days on this little sleep.
It's hard when your husband is getting ready because he has to be at church tonight, and you're trying to clean up the kitchen, while your baby fusses, while your four year old spills her milk, while the dryer is beeping because the clothes are done, while the baby spits up, and you're stuffing bites of sandwich in your mouth as you run around taking care of each of these things (this may or may not have been me an hour or so ago).
Man, it's hard.
1 year ago
2 comments:
I know how hard it is. I have been there with you and your sister,but I would do it all again to have you at home with me. I know it seems unbearable sometimes now, but the day will come when you wish you could just go back and hold that precious litte person who belongs to you and do it all again, just to have them need you. Hang in there Princess, easier days are coming. You are such a good mama and I am proud of you. I love you.
Unfortunatley there are still more of those days ahead. Soon things will get easier. I absolutely feel your pain. Just last night I was trying to cook dinner, brownies, and feed Blair cerel all at the same time and unforunately still 5 out of 7 days of the week she starts crying as soon as I sit down to eat dinner. But hey there are those 2 days I get to eat in peace. So you can do it. Things will get better soon and by the time you go back to work you will be getting more sleep.
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